International Relations

For ten days I have been the the President of the United States of America. The world's superpower, I have had complete hegemony over my domain. Given my complete domination of the other countries of the globe I wield an exorbitant amount of power.....I have the food.

However, I must take care to placate my dominion lest all hell breaks loose. The countries I must deal with have their own wants, desires, and personalities. Some are so volatile that I must take great care in managing relationships amongst them. Let's look at the countries I have had to manage.

The United Kingdom is a large Black Labrador. He is loyal, trusting, and a friend. He realizes that his economy of shelter, survival, and food are based upon my good will. Thus, he will reluctantly do my bidding without protest. The United Kingdom sometime will go off on his own expeditions without my knowledge. An example would be digging holes in the yard or chasing squirrels as his own special Kyoto Protocol. Things that piss me off but I know don't amount to much.

China is a large Australian Shepard. He sticks close to me not out of loyalty but due to his dependence on my energy (again food) and my ability to deal with the other countries of the nation which he either despises or could care less about. He is a constant. I know he is there and that I must keep him afloat since those who have elected me (my parents) will be frustrated if he decides to stop cooperating. He is essential to my staying sane.

North Korea is a miniature Australian Shepard. He remains one of the most difficult countries I have dealt with to date. He is simply schizophrenic. My attempts at giving him shelter, food, and affection are either met with glowing approval or barking and antagonism toward the other countries. He will cling to the UK and China constantly knowing he can get away with nipping at them without a punishment. However, after repeated injuries the UK and China will sanction North Korea by snarling at him. He then is put back in his place and goes along with the rest of the group.

Finally comes Iraq who is a 9 month old miniature Australian Shepard. She is my own personal problem. None of the other countries care much about her and almost laugh at the way she refuses to do what I ask of her. Every now and again the UK or North Korea will help me by chasing her inside for dinner or catching her attention but she is ultimately a recalcitrant country. Yet I'm uncertain as to the origin of her disobedience. Is she thwarting my will due to her utter stupidity and not understanding what is ultimately good for her? Or is she staying in the yard and running from me because she knows that she can do what she wants given she is my ultimate responsibility and I cannot neglect her?